Talk With Your Hips
by Fly Raven. Fly
Summary: Or, The Blind Hobbit's Mistake. After finding out that Blaine told Kurt he wasn't sexy, the New Directions girls take action to prove him wrong.


**Two stories in one day? Go me, and lucky you guys, I guess. *smiles***

**So, I'm super behind on **_**everything **_**Glee has done live, ever, and I am for the first time watching Glee do "Push It", the live video on YouTube and thought, baby penguin my ass, if Blaine ever saw this penguins would be the **_**last **_** thing on his mind. **

**The dance is based off of this video, right here for those of you who haven't seen it; youtube. com/ watch? v=6oFjSguKHSU&feature=related**

**Just remove the spaces, and enjoy. **

**I may do a second part to this, but it depends on the response to how it is now. I'll put it under complete, but if I get enough requests for a 'sequel' then I think I'll do one. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, "Push It" Darren Criss, or Chris Colfer (or his hips, yum). I wish I owned all of these things, but alas I do not.**

Mercedes looked around the room with satisfaction, noting the looks on all the girls faces. Santana closed her mouth with a snap from where it was hanging down, and narrowed her eyes. "He _said _that?"

She nodded, thinking about Kurt sprawled out on her bed in mortification after the embarrassing conversation he'd had with Blaine after the "Animal" fiasco. "He sure did. Not only did he say that my boy _wasn't _sexy, he compared the expressions to gas pains, and called him 'as sexy as a baby penguin'."

Brittany frowned, looking around at everybody. "But I thought he was like a penguin if he weren't a dolphin? Don't all gay penguins live in Germany?"

Since Brittany was—technically—right in her own way, everyone kind of just ignored that. Santana patted her hand and returned the conversation back on topic, "Hobbit's goin' down. How can he not see how sexy Hummel is?"

"She's right—surprisingly," Rachel said, looking a bit disturbed at agreeing with Santana. "About him not being able to see it, not about taking him down."

"Poor Kurt." Tina frowned in sympathy. "Being told by the guy you're practically head over heels with that said guy doesn't think you're sexy. Way to destroy his boy ego."

"Not that I don't agree with everything that's been said," Quinn cut in, "But what does this have to do with us?"

Before Mercedes could say anything, Rachel rolled her eyes. "We have to do something, obviously. I have a suggestion, if I may."

"Oh here we go," Santana muttered, waving a hand when Rachel glared at her. "Continue hobbit number two, it's not like anything's gonna get done until you say what you want to, anyway."

Mercedes tried not to laugh when Rachel scowled and Santana just raised one eyebrow. "As I was _saying, _since Kurt is still considered a part of New Directions, and more importantly an honorary girl, we have to stick together." She wrung her hands, actually looking a bit nervous. "What if we were to—find a reason to "visit" Dalton Academy, and get Kurt to do a number with us, for old time's sake or something?"

Mercedes caught on and raised her eyebrows, impressed. "Like one of the sexy number's he's done before?"

Rachel nodded excitedly. "Yes, exactly!"

"But what song? Kurt's done a few, and well, we have some options to choose from." Tina asked, blushing lightly.

"What about Four Minutes?" Mercedes asked.

"Not all of the club can do it, choreography wise. You'd need more cheerios." Quinn shook her head, but looked intrigued.

"I guess that also means no to 'Le Jazz Hot'." Santana fanned herself. "What about Empire State of Mind? He didn't have any solos, but damn if he didn't look fine. If Hummel went to that prep school dressed like _that _he'd have the Warbler on his knees for all sorts of reasons." She smirked.

"No, no." Tina cut in. "The Single Ladies dance. Now that he's filled out—or am I the only one who's noticed the muscle?—can you imagine how sexy that would be? Blaine would need a bucket for all the drool."

"I know that Dalton has a zero policy for harassment and bullying and all, but I can't imagine he'd have much respect left from them if he did that." Quinn stated apologetically.

"Let's do 'Push It'." Brittany stated in her quiet way. "We didn't all do it before, but it looks like a lot of fun. It will be easy to learn the dance, and I like the way my dolphin moved his hips in that one."

Mercedes blinked and looked at the other girls. They seemed to be contemplating it, and from the expressions on their faces, it seemed as if it was the winning song.

She grinned as she remembered some of the dancing in that number. _Watch out, Anderson_, she thought with no little amount of glee. _My boy's about to show you what "sexy" really is. _

…

"—wait, but I don't understand. New Directions heard that we were doing sexy because they were, and they want to show us their 'sexy' number?" Jeff asked at the emergency Warbler meeting Wes called directly after school. Blaine watched as Jeff tried to make sense of what Wes was saying. He turned his attention towards the front of the room where Wes was standing, gavel in hand.

He nodded. "Yes. I figured it will be a good idea to scope the competition and see what they're made of, and what we need to do if we need to step up our game." He hesitated before also saying, "But there is a slight catch."

Everyone began to speak at once, trying to get out what the catch was, and Blaine glanced over at Kurt who was sitting quietly as he had been lately, and simply watching Wes with a raised eyebrow. He saw Blaine looking towards him, and avoided eye contact, a slight blush on his cheeks. Blaine frowned at how distant Kurt had been, figuring it had to do with their conversation after "Animal", and looked back towards Wes who was explaining.

"Kurt," Blaine saw his head snap up at the mention of his name. "They want you to perform with them."

Kurt looked confused, and before everyone could argue, he said quietly, "But I don't know what their number is. How can I perform with them?" though Blaine could see the sparkle of interest in his eyes.

Wes shrugged. "They said they'd done the number with you before, and you know it, and that it only has slight adjustments now. Nobody will care if you perform with them, as long as they come to Dalton."

Kurt tilted his head, looking thoughtful, then nodded. "Sure. I'll just call Mercedes then, and get things set up, shall I?"

…..

Blaine waited along with the rest of the Warblers, curious as to what they were going to perform, and why they needed Kurt for the sexy number. Blaine shifted a bit guiltily as he thought about what he'd said to Kurt, but he was just being honest with him.

He shook his head, and David noticed, leaning across Wes to stare at him. "Problem?"

"Not really," he said. "Just wondering why they needed Kurt for this number."

Wes frowned. "Well, excluding the whole 'Animal' thing, he does have the stage persona for this kind of thing." David nodded, and then Wes noticed the incredulous stare Blaine was giving him. "What? It's true."

Now it was Blaine's turn to frown. "What do you mean? He hasn't really done anything since he's been at Dalton."

David snorted. "You honestly didn't think we would find out everything we could about him before we let him into the Warblers? He was in the competing Glee club, for God's sake. That girl, Rachel Berry I think her name was, she'd post most of the videos they did on her MySpace. Well, not the ones they'd use for competitions anyway, but you get what I mean.

"They had video's of performances he'd done while there," David continued. "In groups and solos. It was actually a bit surprising he didn't sing, and dance, or give off energy the same way he did in those other ones."

"Like that cheerleading one." Wes put in, and David nodded.

Blaine just felt confused. "Cheerleading?"

David gave him an odd look. "Yeah, you didn't know he used to be on their squad? They call them the Cheerios or something, and him and some girl sang Madonna's 4 Minutes at a pep rally and killed it."

Wes gave Blaine a glance he didn't understand when he saw that Blaine's jaw had dropped. "According to the schools website, he was also on the football team." Blaine blinked in shock, because _Kurt?_ No way.

As if he could read Blaine's mind, David nodded. "Yeah, my reaction too. But I guess he was the best kicker they ever had, and won them the first game in, like, ages."

"But, anyway," Wes continued from before. "His presence on stage was amazing, we're wondering if it was just him performing with _us," _he gave an odd emphasis on the word, glancing at Blaine from the corner of his eye, then rolling his eyes at David, "or if it was just a one time thing."

"That's also why we didn't make a big deal about him performing with them. We want to see if he still has that presence." David said, turning back towards the stage, leaving Blaine in a thoughtful stupor, wondering that they knew a bit more about Kurt than he did.

…..

"So you explain everything to those council members?" Santana asked quietly, buckling her belt and keeping an eye on Kurt who was talking to Britt and laughing.

Mercedes nodded. "After I told them what Blaine said and gave them the information to Rachel's old MySpace page, they were definitely on board, and said Blaine deserves everything he gets coming to him."

Santana smirked, pushing her hair behind her shoulders, and stood next to Mercedes so they could both admire Kurt's dark jeans, tight blue shirt and skinny white tie. She tilted her head slightly, checking him out—because come on, as she had said, Hummel became fucking sexy at one point—and gazing at his ass in the skinny jeans. She shook her head and glanced at Mercedes. "Hobbit won't know what the hell hit him."

…..

All the Warblers quieted down as the music started and three girls—Mercedes, Rachel, and Tina, Blaine recognized—came out and began to sing.

_Ah, push it, _

_Ah, push it_

_Oooh, baby, baby  
>Baby, baby<em>

_Oooh, baby, baby_

_Baby, baby._

_Get up on this!_

Blaine could feel his eyebrows slowly rising, and looked around him to see some of the guys already drooling, just from the girls walking across the stage and bumping their chests out.

And then Finn, Artie and Kurt came out, and Blaine had to blink twice, because then Mercedes and Tina were rolling their bodies, Rachel was dancing against Finn and _Kurt _was dropping low behind Finn, peeking on either side of him.

_Now wait a minute, y'all  
>This dance ain't for everybody<br>Only the sexy people  
>So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance<br>Dance, I said!_

And now Blaine's jaw was dropping, because all he could see was his _best friend _crouching, moving to the music, and jerking his hips up and pulling his arms down as if—_Oh. _Blaine's widened, because now Kurt was moving his hips from left to right, and all he could think was _Oh my god, what?_

_Salt and Pepa's here, and we're in effect  
>Want you to push it, babe<br>Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat  
>C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know<br>How to become number one in a hot party show  
>Now push it<em>

Blaine could only watch, dry mouthed as Kurt fairly ground his hips against Mercedes then jerking his hips—_again, oh those hips, what?_—forwards and backwards.

_Ah, push it - push it good  
>Ah, push it - push it real good<br>Ah, push it - push it good  
>Ah, push it - p-push it real good<em>

_Hey! Ow!  
>Push it good!<em>

The rest of the glee club come onto the stage, the girls lining up and the guys all in a group towards the left as Finn sang the next verse.

_Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop  
>Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss<br>Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed  
>Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?<br>Now push it._

Blaine breathed in sharply, because at the end of the verse as the girls were walking away, they guys—and more importantly _Kurt_—started—the only word he could think of was _vibrating_—their hips, and he needed to look away from his best friend now, because things were about to get really awkward, really fast.

He tore his eyes away, not wanting to _at all, _but needing to, because this was _Kurt _and he should not be thinking the things he was thinking at the moment regarding his friend, and glanced around looking for an escape, but he was cornered on all sides and people were bound to notice if he suddenly left. He swallowed, trying to wet his still too dry throat, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

He glanced back towards the stage, and oh fuck, Kurt was _crawling _and he needed to get out of there right now.

_Push it good  
>Push it real good<br>Push it good  
>P-push it real good<em>

_Ah, push it  
>Get up on this!<br>Boy, you really got me going  
>You got me so I don't know what I'm doing<br>Ah, push it_

But now it was over, and Blaine didn't know whether to be disappointed or vastly relieved, because now he didn't have to watch Kurt move his hips and be freaking out about it, but now he didn't get to watch Kurt _move his hips _and body, so it was a toss up.

He was so caught up in his own little freak-out that he didn't see Wes and David glancing at him, smirking, and then giving a thumbs up to the Glee girls on stage.


End file.
